Today's Top Gun tip actually comes from a life changing exercise I did with my 17 year old son at a large father-son retreat. Each father was asked to stand in front of the entire group, look at our son, and make a few proclamations:
1. Appreciation - one thing that I really appreciate about you is.....
2. Admiration - one thing that I truly admire about you is.....
3. Affirmation - you are important to me because....
4. Adoration - closing with just saying the magic words "I love you"
Making these proclamations in a public setting was strangely difficult for most of the fathers, including me; but this was a remarkably freeing and meaningful exercise that took our relationship to a whole new level. Although my son may have known my feelings for him on some level, it was an entirely different experience for him to hear the words and accompanying emotion as I looked into his eyes and spoke from the heart. We all have this core need to be appreciated, admired, affirmed, and adored - to be validated as a person of some significance or importance to others. Try this exercise with your children or people close to you and observe what happens in your relationship. While it may not be a good idea to tell clients that you love them, find something that you appreciate, admire, and can affirm about them and take your client relationships to a whole new level. For every "A" you give, you will get one in return, building strong and meaningful client relationships that endure.
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