Get an "A" in Building Strong Relationships

Today's Top Gun tip actually comes from a life changing exercise I did with my 17 year old son at a large father-son retreat.  Each father was asked to stand in front of the entire group, look at our son, and make a few proclamations:

1. Appreciation - one thing that I really appreciate about you is.....
2. Admiration - one thing that I truly admire about you is.....
3. Affirmation - you are important to me because....
4. Adoration - closing with just saying the magic words "I love you"

Making these proclamations in a public setting was strangely difficult for most of the fathers, including me; but this was a remarkably freeing and meaningful exercise that took our relationship to a whole new level.  Although my son may have known my feelings for him on some level, it was an entirely different experience for him to hear the words and accompanying emotion as I looked into his eyes and spoke from the heart.  We all have this core need to be appreciated, admired, affirmed, and adored - to be validated as a person of some significance or importance to others.  Try this exercise with your children or people close to you and observe what happens in your relationship.  While it may not be a good idea to tell clients that you love them, find something that you appreciate, admire, and can affirm about them and take your client relationships to a whole new level. For every "A" you give, you will get one in return, building strong and meaningful client relationships that endure.

What Top Guns can learn from Tiger

Watching the last few holes of the Memorial golf tournament on Sunday was a familiar scene, Tiger Woods hunting down PGA Tour victory #73, tying Jack Nicklaus'  win total, and in sight of Sam Snead at 82 PGA Tour wins.  I'm always fascinated how when Tiger is in contention, his playing partners often crumble, evidenced in this case by Ricky Fowler, shooting an almost unfathomable 84 vs. Tiger's 67.  Tiger's typical dominant Sunday play often intimidates other players.  This goes with one of his memorable quotes: "I want to be what I've always wanted to be: Dominant."  The Top Gun mentality always begins with knowing what you want.  You cannot hit a target that you cannot see.  Another Tiger quote: "I get to play golf for a living. What more can you ask for - getting paid for doing what you love."  These are the two main ingredients in the Top Gun recipe.  Do you love what you do for a living?  Are you crystal clear on what you want?  Most people do not love what they do, and tend to focus on what they don't have vs. what they want.  The Top Gun focus gives freedom to move beyond conditioned ideas that may be self-limiting.  Do some self analysis in this regard; write down your reasons for loving what you do, and list clear goals for your activities and production.  Review these often and follow through to be what you have always wanted to be: a TOP GUN!